It is of paramount importance that we acknowledge the role played by women in the household and in the marriage. In the bible, we have seen how women play an important role in men’s lives; some have derailed them from the faith like king Solomon. Whenever this topic pops up, it takes me back to the beginning of life in the Garden of Eden. When Adam was given this earth alone to rule, he didn’t enjoy it, and the Lord saw the need to create someone who would be his helper.
When the Lord saw this, He said, “...It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him” (Genesis 2:18). You know that in the bible the word man can be interchangeably used for male figure or human being in general. Let us see here, in the Hebrew we have the word man is adam and not ish, for man. Adam is human being in general whereas ish is a male figure. This denotes that, human being will always need someone near them to succeed in life. However, when the Lord saw the loneliness of Adam, He created someone comparable to him.
The Lord could have created another male figure, but hey, He created someone comparable to him with a different sex organ, different emotions and different hormones. In this the Lord created her to motivate Adam to find the Tree of Life in the Garden. The serpent went in first before Eve could fulfil the purpose in which she was created, to pervert the whole plan. The serpent knew that the Lord had great plan for human being, being filled with the evil spirits spoke to Eve as an advisor and Eve was convinced otherwise.
Adam became confused as well because he could no longer remind Eve what the Lord had said to him. When the word came from Eve that Adam should eat the forbidden fruit, he ate without asking questions. I know many people believe that Adam was somewhere busy and when he came back Eve had already eaten the fruit. Hey! The bible says, “So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate” (Genesis 3:6).
There is no pausing, the eating moment happened instantly in the same verse. They ate in one verse denoting that this happened at the same time. We can already see how powerful women are against their husbands. We can also see how Sarai (later Sarah) had the power over Abram (later Abraham) to instruct him to know their maid Hagar to obtain children by her. Well, this power they got is not physical, it is just intellectual. The Lord knew what He was doing in that, that is why He made men to be physically powerful against women. Above all, the Lord made men to be His representatives in the house, but gave women responsibilities to take care of men and the rest of the house.
Wait a minute! Does this mean that women should always be in the house waiting for the husbands’ leadership? In the ancient time, women were not allowed to work once they were married, however, today because the world has evolved; women are given the opportunity to chase careers. Sometimes this can cause strife in a marriage if the woman lacks the wisdom of the Lord. When a woman knows the Lord, she will be able to balance her career and her marriage altogether. This does not imply that men should be spectators in their houses in marriages.
Men can still help with house chores wherever they can help and they can also learn few things like baking and cooking a proper meal. This is not only women’s duty in the house. Men can make beds, make laundries, sweep the floor and wash the dishes, also this is not an obligation but when there is a good communication in the house, they will know how to balance the house duties. We have women who will not want to have men cooking for them, washing for them or even sweeping the house, which is excellent. In this, I’m suggesting and not giving a commandment because not all men are given the mental privilege when it comes to doing house chores.
So, it is also advisable for couple prior to getting married discuss such issues and knows each other well in that perspective. It is sad when a woman enforces that her husband do the house duties, I believe that he should do them out of love or if the woman is busy and she cannot perform some duties or she is sick. It is also sad that some women will use sex to get their wedded husbands to perform house duties. Take this advice; it is not right for a couple to use what they have to manipulate the other party to do things for them.
For example, a man may be threatened that he won’t get sex time if he won’t cook and wash the dishes. A man may threaten a woman that he won’t buy her food if she won’t cook for him. Couples should communicate and should not allow any room for manipulation. When one feels threatened in the relationship it may cause the stress to an extent that the other party end up cheating.
Women, be careful for the Lord has placed much power in your hands. When Adam was in the Garden alone and needed inspiration, the Lord placed Eve in the Garden for him. Women are the ones who inspire men to be something, of course if the woman is “...a prudent wife is from the LORD” (Proverbs 19:14). What men want to see in women is not good looks, the bible also says, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the LORD, shall be praised” (Proverb 31:30).
The bible doesn’t forbid men to chase after beautiful women, but what Bathsheba is saying to her son Lemuel here is that, he mustn’t chase looks but pay attention on her character. She accentuates the importance of character more than beauty. She says that beauty vanishes, meaning her beauty will vanish if her character is bad. If she fears the Lord, she will be praised. When you meet a woman who is a believer of Christ, she is a diamond dozen. These days it’s very rare to find a woman who fears the Lord.
After all, the book of proverbs says of women, “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands” (Proverbs 14:1). This is not to put pressure on women, but this wisdom is from the Lord. If a woman fears the Lord she shall be praised; praised for what? She will be praised for her prudence, of course from the Lord. We must be clear that, to fear the Lord is not in the form timidity but in the form of admiration. I don’t fear the Lord because of His unknown judgment but I fear Him because of His magnificence.
Now everybody, about the principle of marriage, the bible says, “Marriage is honourable among all, and the bed undefiled...” (Hebrews 13:4). Here the Holy Spirit is bringing to our attention pertaining to the spirit of infidelity, that couples should not bring someone else on their marriage bed. People of the world think that the bible is talking about the physical bed, but hey, it is actually referring to your body that if you get undressed by someone else other than your spouse you are defiling your marriage bed.
This time the Holy Spirit is not saying you shall be stoned to death, hey people, this is the book of Hebrews, the Jews, the people who knew the Law of Moses. The motive has changed; Paul reminds them of the judgment from the Lord rather. Again the Holy Spirit, during the time of the Law said, “Drink water from your own cistern, and running water from your own well. Should your fountains be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be only your own, and not for strangers with you” (Proverbs 5:15-17).
Again, the Holy Spirit is not talking about judgment but just admonishing His people. This is the principle that even unbelievers follow. Married and unmarried people follow this. If one partner cheats, they end the relationship. So, how do we merge this with the prudence of women in the marriage? Women must be counselled before marriage, to know what is important in their marriage. If a woman is weak, or faint-hearted, her marriage is bound to fallout.
She must understand what could cause her husband to go out to find another woman, which is defiling their marriage bed. She must know how to talk with her husband, because God has placed much power in the woman. This caused me to remember how much Prince Paris sacrificed his own family just to have Queen Helen. By the way, Queen Helen was married to king Menelaus from Greece who was a brother to the most powerful king called Agamemnon. So Prince Paris while his brother was engaging with these two brothers for peace, he was busy with Queen Helen.
Queen Helen was 16 years then almost in the same age group with Prince Paris married to an old King Menelaus who was probably in his middle 50s. History tells us that she was the most beautiful woman in Greece. Therefore, after the negotiations were over, Prince Paris hid her and carried her to their boat to Troy which she agreed because she fell in love with Prince Paris. She had thousands of people dying on her behalf, like Prince Hector died protecting his brother Paris and left his wife and with his new born baby.
So women have spiritual power, imagine how they can humble such a powerful being called a man. Solomon recalled the words of his mother and he wrote, “For by means of a harlot, a man is reduced to a crust of bread; and an adulteress will prey upon his precious life” (Proverbs 6:26). You don’t want to be reduced to crust of bread because of women, men stick to your wife. Look at this, “For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman, and be embraced in the arms of a seductress?” (Proverbs 5:20).
I want to bring this the attention of all men reading this message; the book of Proverbs is written of course for Solomon. These are mostly if not all, the words of Bathsheba his mother and she is revealing the most important aspects that could make men successful. She said, “Do not give your strength to women, nor your ways to that which destroys kings” (Proverbs 31:3). I want to discuss the word strength, the word here is chayil which in English may be used for wealth, but in other instances it is for strength, virtue, valor or force. Now imagine if the youth of today would understand this, they would understand that their wealth which is money should not be dispersed abroad.
So to all single men, as I said earlier on, marry a woman who has the prudence of the Lord. King Solomon said, “Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:10-12 - KJV). This verse can also be read as ‘Who can find a wealthy woman,’ because the following sentence talks about her price (value). Why do I replace the word virtuous with the word wealthy? It’s because the word virtuous in Hebrew is also chayil (הַוִל).
Therefore, Bathsheba makes it a point to her son that a virtuous woman is a diamond dozen. The word virtuous is mouthful; it can be translated as strength. This virtuous woman is from the Lord and cannot do evil to her husband. I like the Hebrew word for husband in this passage; we have the word ba’al (בַּעַל) which in English is master. A married woman should always look at her husband as a master and of course as a partner. The Holy Spirit does this to ensure that couples know how to conduct themselves well in marriage, bringing honour to their marriage. To conclude: Women although are weak-looking, they possess the most powerful tool which is in their brain, it is their mind. Never underestimate your woman.
Stay justified...!!!
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